Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I Don't Know What To Say...Pokey Had Me In The Potato Bag

First off...  I have amazing family and friends.  Thank you all for all the super supportive, kind emails, text, and comments.  I feel so lucky to have you all rooting for me.

This is one of those posts that no one wants to write.  I'm not even sure I should be writing about it now, but blogs are about journaling so you can go back someday and remember those moments in your life, whether good or bad, and hopefully be able to learn from them.  And there was WAY more good than bad this past weekend. :)

It actually was a weekend full of awesomeness.  On Friday I picked up Emily from the airport and off we were to Pocatello.  First time to hang since last May at her 24 event.  It was almost a 3 hour car ride and I don't think we stopped talking once.  So fun.  First up... meet up for lunch!

We got to meet Supermom Erin and Cari!!  They are both darling and it was so fun to meet in person.  Cute Cari drove an hour to meet up and even came back the next day to see us at the finish line!!!  Love her. 

I get to see these two again in a couple weeks.... more on that in a second...

Don't mind me standing on my tippy toes to try to compete with those 4" heels...

Next up was Expo time.  It was kind of a small sad Expo, but don't worry we grabbed our potato bags.

Race morning.  Felt good.  Slept ok.  I kept my nerves at bay.  It turns out I didn't hydrate super well. But I felt really good at the start.  Game plan: Run mostly 8:00's through first 15 and 9:00's last 10 if need be.  Main goal: keep this lady in sight.

Yeah she rocked the arm sleeves and tatts like a pro.  We chatted the first hour a little but by mile 8 it was time for music and buckling in.

Without going into writing an epic saga on the race that wasn't....  I'll give the cliff notes version because, well just because.

Halfway point I was at 1:47.  Yeah, my fastest half ever.  Still feeling pretty strong.  By the time we hit 15 there weren't too many downhills to find and I started to slow.  By 18, I think we were around 10:00's and I knew 3:35 was out the door.  By mile 21, I was barely squeaking out 12:00's and I knew BQ was gone.  Mile 23, I knew a sub 4 was gone too.  I hate realizations during the race.  I couldn't will myself any faster. 

Emily was awesome.  Completely patient.  And bored out of her mind.  I'm not a big talker during races, as in not at all.  She knew when to check in and when to just roll with it.  I kept my emotions in check, til the end.  But I knew she felt bad.  And I thought of all the people that were pulling for me.  But it is what it is.  I tried.  I fell apart the last ten miles.  Still trying to figure out what to do different.  Probably just more fast training.

Happy faces coming into the finish line.  And look at those awesome heel strikes.  ;)  Emily's parents and sister had come to the race!  They were at the finish line!!!  And cute Cari!!  I could hear them cheering.  So nice to have hugs from family and friends at the end.

We found Erin and were so happy for her awesome BQ finish time!  3:32!  So amazing.

I tried to disappear to a corner, looked at my phone and saw all my messages and just couldn't keep my composure...

It's so disappointing.  And I know it's only a race.  But I was hoping for better from myself.  Thank goodness I had a best friend there. 

So.  Finish time for me and poor Emz: 4:06.  Actually my personal best ever.  But no BQ.  Gonna try again in two weeks at Top of Utah Marathon in Logan.  If all the early registration doesn't fill the Boston Marathon, I still might have a shot to get in if I can pull off a 3:44:59 in Logan.  And Erin and Cari will be running TOU too! 

So what did I do with my potato bag?  Since I didn't mash them in the race...  nothing like a little grease to give some comfort.

I'll get over this one.  It's all good. :)


  1. congrats on your pr. know that we are all proud of you...even if it wasnt the race you wanted

  2. I am so sorry that the race didn't go how you planned. I felt guilty even at the end because I knew how badly you wanted it. 4:06 is still a super good time and a PR is never something to be discouraged about. Rest up those legs and believe that TOU will be YOUR day. :)
    It was great to meet you. Thanks for hanging out with me. Hugs!

  3. Great job regardless! Looked like you were right on pace at the half point.

    The only advice I can give is probably some more speed work to shed the minutes.

    Keep your head up, you need these races to be able to appreciate all of your other races :)

  4. Dawn--You hung tough, regardless! Sorry it wasn't the day you had planned, but that day is waiting for you. I hope it's in Utah!

  5. Sorry to hear that it didn't all come together for you on the clock, but you'll get that BQ. Too much focus and desire for it not to happen. I'll keep cheering for you every time you step to the line. Use this for fuel the next time.

  6. Gosh I know it's not what you wanted but please don't be disappointed by 4:06 ever! You did great and the BQ will be there when you're ready.
    IMO more endurance training vs more speed will help get you there. Just my 2 cents.
    Hugs girl!

  7. Sounds like maybe you went out too fast, but who knows, live and learn. Way to tough it out to the finish!

  8. Congrats on that PR, you will get that BQ... I know it!

  9. Dawn..."And I thought of all the people that were pulling for me and I just felt like the biggest loser" This part breaks my heart...don't you think that way. You did your best so far. you are not a looser, not even the smallest looser. How many people can say they ran a marathon? Not me. Not many. you did that in 4:06! be proud. now I get being dissapointed. but no more feeling like a looser. that is a bad bad word lady.
    the picture of you alone says it all.
    you will use this race for the next one. I will be pulling for you in a couple weeks...you will get that BQ! there is NO looser living at this blog address dont you forget that.

  10. I am speechless... Mostly because actually being there was the most amazing thing ever...

    I loved every bit of it... I mostly loved getting a small glimps if how much you and EMZ love each other..

    It is amazing to see...

    All I can say, is that I truley live you from the bottom of my heart.....

    Your BQ is coming... And you will get registered....

    REMEMBER... ANYTHING is possible... Just Believe

  11. Um... Truly LOVE you...

    Stupid iPhone!!! But I COULD live u too... That would be cool :)

  12. Sorry that it didn't happen for you this time. Sometimes that's just how the race goes and there's nothing that can be done about it. But you're pretty determined - you'll get there.

  13. There's so much that we could all say, and yet nothing to say. It is what it is. You gotta brush it off and go for it again in a couple of weeks. Some runs are just like that. We know you've got it in you!

  14. Homemade fries are the best.

    Sorry you didn't BQ. BUT, you did good. And you should be proud of that. You will BQ. I know it. You are just awesome Dawn!

  15. You still did a great job!! I know the feeling hen you expect better of yourself. You should still be proud of yourself!

  16. Dawn, you're amazing, no matter what! I love that you set your sights high & are so driven. Good luck at TOU... I signed up but can't go now. Can't wait to hear how you do.

  17. I'm so glad you posted this because it's real and it's powerful. (and honestly it gives you more speaking material) I think one of the hardest lessons in life to learn is that you can work your guts out put all the preparation in AND still not get the result you want. So then what....whether it's a race or a work presentation, an interview for the job of your dreams, a science project or a drill team routine; it's what you do with THIS when it doesn't go your way that counts. You're a ROCK STAR in my book.

  18. I'm sorry to hear your race did not go as planned and I know how difficult that can be.

    However, congrats on a great race and PR. This experience will only make you stronger!

  19. Those are rough moments. It's huge that you shared it all…and the whole experience is great as a learning moment. You come out of this stronger and wiser and with a PR. Kinda not so bad even if not what you were shooting for. (((Hugs)))

  20. Oh girl, my heart went out to you, I so exactly know how you felt as I have been there before (took me 3 months to get over Big Sur). Emily text me after your race (sorry, I don't have your # :( ) and I hope she gave you a big hug from me. You PR'd, and you never gave up - that says boatloads about your rock hard character!! Your day is there, it is, and I'm hoping it's at TOU!

  21. I found your blog through EMZ, first congrats on the PR! Be proud of that! Now matter what your actual time ended up being a PR is always awesome.

    If a race doesn't go right according to plan it can be tough to deal with. I'm assuming that you have already crunched all the numbers and thoughts regarding this - but a 1:47 first half and 2:20 2nd half is a huge difference. I checked out the Pocatello elevation chart and it looks like its downhill to mile 14, then it's basically flat.

    Not sure if it's possible to try to determine why your splits were so big - whether it was due to hydration, your quads taking a pounding on the downhills over the first half, or just simply luck of the day or something. You mentioned hydration didn't go as well, so maybe that is the main thing that happened. I'm assuming that you ran the first half at your projected full marathon effort in terms of actual exertion and heartrate?

    Anyways, just throwing some theories out there, after every race I overanalyze things to death, good luck at Top of Utah in 2 weeks!

  22. i love that you two are matching. very cute. let yourself feel bad but dont forget that you can and will bq.

  23. Whether you're running 8:00 min. miles or 12:00 min. miles, you are still my HERO! I know you're disappointed and I think I can speak for everyone when I say NONE of us are disappointed in you! You did a great race, shaved a ton of time off your old PR, 4:06 is AMAZING!! Good luck at TOU {even though you don't really need it}! Thanks for being such a great example of determination, girt and hard work! Love ya girl!

  24. PR !!!!

    Nice job RD:)
    wouldnt be as valuable if you could just rattle it off like no problem would it? (or so I tell myself haha) good work


  25. GREASE DOES EQUAL COMFORT:) Girl, I am sorry that you didn't meet your goals but you still did INCREDIBLE. I know what you mean about those realizations that come during a race. I love that you and EMZ ran together. CONGRATS on the first 1/2 being your fastest ever...you are AMAZING!